I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
