He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize