I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she smelled like a LAN party
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
