Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You don't make any sense
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