oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
