it was like his penis was on wheels.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
