My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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