ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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