we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
