Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
