I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
