I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
