worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
