Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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