bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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