Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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