At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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