Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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