Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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