So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
