peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
