garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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