whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
