You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
