There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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