Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
