I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
