I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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