Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
