Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
