Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
