So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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