Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
