You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
