she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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