The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
