the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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