Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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