I smell stomach acid.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
