it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There's always time for handjobs
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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