Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
if only i could text you this smell
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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