Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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