They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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