dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
