think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
