I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
