Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What changed your mind?
Being sober
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
