I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
