that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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