They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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