I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
