The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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