strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
