Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize