I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize