we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
