dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's blow job season.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
