I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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