Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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