And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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