i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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