Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
How's work?
Spinning.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
