So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize