I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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