I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize