Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
