I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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