thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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