I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
