I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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