Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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