I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
