Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
