i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The adults are the big ones right?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
