The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
