Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
