my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
