I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
