ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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